The Real Inheritance: How Great Families Prepare Their Children for Leadership — Susan Schoenfeld
Susan R. Schoenfeld, CEO and Founder of Wealth Legacy Advisors LLC, serves as a ‘thought partner’ to families of wealth through personal attention and human spirit. Susan is an award-winning Thought Leader; she provides guidance on legacy, stewardship, governance, leadership succession, and philanthropy. She recently spoke on Reinventing the Family Office: Agility, Governance, and Generational Change in NYC.
Preparing the next generation of wealth for leadership, whether in a family office, a family enterprise, or ultimately as stewards of the family itself, does not suddenly begin in adulthood. It starts much earlier. In fact, some of the most important foundations for responsible leadership can be laid when children are very young.
At the core of this preparation is financial literacy, but not in the traditional sense of spreadsheets and investment strategies. For young children, financial literacy begins with simple ideas: the difference between wants and needs, the concept of delayed gratification, and the importance of community. These early lessons build the framework for how the future leaders of your family will think about money, responsibility, and decision-making.
One of the most powerful lessons in raising children in a wealthy family is also one of the most delicate: helping them appreciate the privilege they have inherited while acknowledging the responsibility that accompanies their privilege. Most heirs did not create the family wealth themselves. They are beneficiaries of the vision, sacrifice, risk-taking, and hard work of those who came before them. Teaching children to recognize this reality early on helps instill humility and responsibility. It also opens the door to conversations about empathy for those less fortunate, and a sense of duty to their broader community.
Even very young children can begin learning these lessons through simple tools. A classic example is the “three-jar” allowance system, which encourages children to divide money into categories such as spending, saving, and giving. While the mechanics are simple, the lessons can be profound. Children begin to understand budgeting, trade-offs, and the satisfaction that comes from both saving and helping others.
As children grow older, the learning broadens. During the teenage years, one of the most valuable experiences parents can encourage is their child getting a job, whether after-school work or a summer job. For young people from wealthy families, this experience can be transformative.
Working for a paycheck teaches the dignity of labor and the satisfaction of self-earned pocket money. It also builds empathy for the people who will one day work alongside them or for them. Whether it’s the barista who makes their coffee, the housekeeper who cleans their home, the driver who takes them to the airport, or the employees within the family business, these individuals deserve respect. A teenager who has experienced working for a salary is far more likely to appreciate the effort behind every role in an organization, from the mailroom to the corner office.
Even something as mundane as withholding taxes can become a valuable teaching moment. When a teenager sees their first paycheck and realizes that taxes are deducted before the money reaches their pocket, it creates a natural opportunity for parents to discuss how systems work, how governments are funded, how responsibilities are shared, and how financial planning becomes important in adult life.
As young adults move into college and beyond, the learning can become more directly connected to the family enterprise. Summer internships in the family office or within the family business can serve as a gentle introduction to the systems and structures that support the family’s wealth. These experiences help younger generations understand how decisions are made, how governance works, and how responsibilities are distributed.
But perhaps most importantly, these opportunities allow the rising generation to absorb the culture and values of the family enterprise and the family system as a whole. Technical skills can always be taught. What truly matters in the long run is the larger picture: understanding the spirit and purpose behind the family’s success.
Ultimately, preparing the next generation of wealth for leadership is not just about teaching them how to manage assets or run a business. It is about communicating the deeper story of the family itself. Every successful family enterprise has a narrative, one built on courage, persistence, creativity, sacrifice and often a willingness to take risks when others would not.
I like to think of this process as crafting the family story: Who are we as a family? What do we stand for? What does it mean to carry our name and our legacy forward?
When that story is created intentionally and shared consistently, it becomes a powerful tool. It can be told and retold across generations, to children and grandchildren, and also to those who marry into the family. Over time, it forms a shared identity and a guiding sense of purpose.
And in the end, that shared story may be the most valuable inheritance of all.
Susan Schoenfeld, a public speaker & thought partner to families of wealth and their advisors, is an award-winning thought leader and family wealth counselor. Susan’s transition from a successful estate planning attorney and CPA to a trusted family advisor and thought partner was sparked by the deeper, more probing questions she received from wealthy families, questions that went far beyond traditional estate tax planning. As a conflict-free advisor who provides no investment, tax, or legal advice, and sells no product, Susan offers unfiltered, actionable insights directly to high-net-worth families and financial professionals alike. Her expertise and thought leadership have made her a sought-after keynote speaker and a leading facilitator at prestigious conferences across the United States.
Connect with Susan Schoenfeld on LinkedIn.
